A Difficult Choice
by Emerald Cranberry Juice
Summary: All I've ever wanted laid two feet away, would I risk everything to take it?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

_A Subtle Reunion_

"It started out as any other story would… a girl was madly in love with the boy-next-door. Or in this case, the one down the creek. But this time it's my turn to tell the story. The spotlights on me. These last few years with Jen, Dawson, Pacey, Jack, and Audrey were the best ones… and also the worst. But like the sayings go, we learn from our mistakes. This is a story about how those mistakes became life."

"So, what do you think," I asked my best friend, Dawson Leery. Me and Dawson, Dawson and I. Either way, it was like we've been connected at the hip ever since we've became friends. And unfortunately, we also had a past (if you get what I'm saying). But through it all, we've remained friends. Finally there was no drama between Dawson, Me, and my boyfriend Pacey (his _old _best friend, and that is a story that is way too long to tell what happened between us). Dawson just shook his head.

"Joe, I've always said this, you've got a talent for writing. And why you sit behind a desk reading _other _people's books has been a mystery," he said.

"Well, we can't all have the dream job, Mr. Director," I said sprawling all over mine and Pacey's couch. Dawson finally had his dream job come and find him. He's wanted to be a director since… forever.

"That's not fair. I had many hardships," he said. I gave him my look that said: you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me. "What?! Like you haven't had life easier ever since you graduated college!"

"That's low...even for you Dawson," I said tickling him in the place where only I knew he was ticklish. I grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it at him. "Oh ya. It's on." He grabbed some ice from the pop and threw it down my shirt. "Oh shit Dawson! That's freezing. Somehow then we ended up on top of each other throwing our snacks down each other's shirts and pant. I know what you're thinking… really mature. I looked down at him. This was the guy that I thought I loved. The guy I wanted to love me for so long, and when it finally happened, I can't even remember why we split up.

There are times when I wonder what would've happened if I chose Dawson instead of Pacey after Dawson's mom got married. Then at those times, I think of all of the times Pacey has made me laugh and smile. But, now, looking into Dawson's eyes, everything, including Pacey seemed to melt away. Dawson seemed to be thinking the same thing. He leaned up and slowly put his lip on mine.

The kiss was just as I remembered it a long time ago. Sweet. Tender. Dawson.

"Dawson, we can't do this. I'm with Pacey," I said trying to back away, but or some reason, I couldn't.

"Joe, I miss you. I hate living in L.A when you're here, in Boston. I miss you, and I still love you," he said. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening! No one really knows how long it took me to actually get over him. Yet, here he is opening all of those hard-closed wounds. This cannot be happening!!!

"This cannot be happening," said Pacey quietly standing in the doorway.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_Only Time Will Tell_

"Well look at what we have here," said Pacey walking slowly towards Dawson and I. Crap. Why did he have to come in now. Now of all times. Maker of the World, whoever you are, you seriously have a sick sense of humor.

"Pace, this isn't what it looks like," I said standing up trying to get as far away from Dawson as possible. Which in such a little apartment, was quite challenging considering the size. Stupid real-estate person.

"Dawson, you're my best friend and all, but get the hell out of my house now," said Pacey as calmly as possible. Dawson left without saying goodbye. Coward.

"God, Joey I knew that this would happen. I knew that if _he _came back here, you would choose him over me like you always do. Because apparently stupid Pacey isn't good enough for the smart beautiful Joey. Joey who as to be with her soul mate _Dawson Leery_. The famous movie director who went to college and who-." But Pacey stopped and looked at me. I didn't realize that I had tears going all down my face. "God, I'm sick of this. Half of my time at work I spend thinking of you and here you are… with him. I thought you had chosen me after _his _mom's wedding. But apparently I was the only one who was truly in the "relationship" if you can really call it that."

"For God's sake Pacey, will you give it a rest?! He kissed me! I tried to stop him."

"Yeah, you looked so devastated while you two lovebirds were lip-locked."

"Yes he kissed me! So what?! It didn't mean any thing to me! Pacey, I love you and I always will. We can let something like Dawson get in the way. Either way he's always going to be in our lives no matter what. And frankly, I don't care because he'll never be to me what you are." Then I pushed away those felling that I felt with Dawson and kissed Pacey. I'm so confused.

"Well Miss Potter, it seems to me that the boy-down-the-creek is trying to win your heart back. But the thing is is that there's another strapping young lad who wants you too."

"Well see here Mr. Witter, you forgot that that young lad already has the fair maiden's heart. And she doesn't want to give it back."

What I said to Pacey wasn't _exactly _a lie, but it wasn't the truth. I don't know if I still had feelings for Dawson. But him kissing me definitely brought up hard-buried feelings for Dawson. And I don't know if I like those feelings or not. Only time will tell.

As Pacey and Joey argued, Dawson sat outside their door and listened. _I wonder who she's trying to fool saying she doesn't have feelings for me. Only time will tell, _he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_Kitchen Talks_

A few days past and Dawson left tomorrow night and over the last few days, Pacey had tried to avoid Dawson as much as possible. It was actually quite sad in my eyes. I mean, they had been friends for forever, and now, once again, they hated each other. God, men can be so stupid at times.

I don't know how I feel about Dawson. I mean I love him. I think I always will. He was the first person I gave my heart to, and I don't think I ever really got it back. The scary thing is, is that I don't know if I really _want _it back.

These are the times that I wish that Jen was still alive. She had "left this world" only a few days after Dawson's mom's wedding. And there are some things that I was I could talk to her about and ask for her advice. Even though we used to seriously hated each other (well, I think it was more me… I was so pissed when her and Dawson had started going out). But in the end we became friends. There isn't a day that I regret that I didn't know her.

Well anyways, tonight is sort of a going away party for Dawson. Jack, Audrey, Pacey, his brother Doug (also Jack's "partner"), and I were getting together at Pacey's restaurant Clash. I had sort of forced Pacey to do it. It turns out that I can be quite persuasive. Well, I just hope that there's not going to be any bloodshed.

later

"Wow Pacey, you actually own this thing? I'm so shocked. All the time we dated you never seemed like a business man," my ex-room-mate Audrey said as she came into the restaurant.

"Haha Audrey. It turns out that I'm a damn good businessman. No help form that loan that you were supposed to give me," Pacey said as he set food in front of Jack and Doug.

"Yeah, little brother. I had thought that you would have fallen on your butt by now," Doug said as he ruffled Pacey's hair.

"Yeah and I thought that you would be caught by the gay police now," Pacey said under his breath.

"So, how's Amy Jack?" I asked to take the pressure off of Pacey.

"At home with the babysitter Grams," Jack said smiling. He was so happy that Amy had come to live with him after Jen died.

"What's going on here? I thought that it was only going to be me and Joey. Well, it looks like I'm stuck with you guys too," Dawson said coming in the room. He hid a bouquet of daisies behind his back. Uh oh. He had thought that I had chosen him. But, on the other hand, he got me daisies! He remembered that that was what he gave me on our first date. I could literally feel Pacey tense up next to me. Audrey noticed the flowers too.

"Um, Joe, can I see you in the kitchen," she said practically dragging me. "Why did he get you flowers? Did you two sleep together?" I knew that she was going to act like this.

"For God's sake Audrey! Just because a guy gets me flowers doesn't mean that I slept with him," I said picking up a spoon.

"When that guy is Dawson it does!" she said. I glared at her. "Well it does! I mean you guys are practically Romeo and Juliet!"

"He came over when Pacey was at work a few days ago," I said hoisting myself onto the counter. "We talked… and he kissed me."

"What?! How come I didn't know this?! I'm your best friend! You have a right to tell me when your famous director ex kisses you!"

"Well, I didn't tell you because I knew that you would act like this."

"So now what," she said crossing her arms.

"I don't know. That night opened all of those feelings, and I don't know if I…if I."

"If what?! God If I had two gorgeous guys fawned all over me; I would break both of their hearts. But Dawson, he's like you soul mate. Pacey, he's a nice guy, but those feelings you have for Dawson just don't go away."

I pondered this. "But Pacey saved me. He picked me up when I thought I would never see light," I said.

Audrey looked at me and started cracking up. "God you sound like a frickin' soap opera."

"I think I just need some time to thin all of this through," I said and we returned back to the table.

I was literally the worst situation I have ever been through. I had Pacey on my left, and Dawson on my right. God, Pacey was seriously getting on my nerves. There would be times that Dawson would talk to me and then Pacey would like bring up a whole new topic so that I would have to talk to him. There was one time too that my hand accidentally bumped Dawson's and Pacey like flipped. He swooped me up into a kiss before you could even say jealous. I don't know if I want to stay with Pacey if he's going to act like this every time one of my guy friends came into town. After what he did I apparently needed a new fork and escaped into the kitchen.

I was so wrapped up into my thoughts that I didn't see Dawson enter the kitchen.

"God, what's with Pacey? He totally flipped out when I touched your hand," he said grabbing a glass of water.

"Oh I know! It's really getting on my nerves. I wonder what would happen if we kissed?"

Dawson looked at me. He looked so handsome. Had he always smelled that good? "I wouldn't mind," he said as he got closer to me. Oh shit.

"Dawson, we shouldn't do this," I said go near to him.

"Joey, I love you," he said. We were barely and inch apart I looked up into his eyes and I could see myself. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him, taking it all in. This is where I was meant to be, I was sure of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry this is a rewrite.

**Chapter Four**

There I lay next to Pacey, staring at the intricate designs in my ceiling. I'm so confused. I have no idea what I should do. If I stay here, I know that Pacey will never leave me or abandon me. But if I stay here, I will continue to live in a cage. Then again, there's

Dawson.

The answer to all of my prayers. He was my soul mate back when we were fourteen and even today. He was like an angel. But Pacey picked me up when Dawson left me. A war raged in my head. Pacey. Dawson. Pacey. Dawson.

At that moment I knew what I had to do. I grabbed a few necessities and threw them into my messenger bag. I put my farewell note on Pacey's counter, grabbed the remaining money from my last paycheck.

I ran. That was the last time I ever saw Pacey.

Pacey's POV

_Dear Pacey,_

_This letter was so much harder to write than I expected. I had hoped that it would simply say goodbye. __You would have never accepted that. __Then I realized that you deserved so much better. By now you must have realized that I'm gone. __You will probably never see me again. __I don't know if we'll see each other again. There's something I have to find out… so don't expect me to give you a time of my return. Please don't hate Dawson for this; it's not his fault. Just know that I will always love you and that I'll never be able to repay you for what you did for me. __Don't do anything stupid_

_Love,_

_Joey_

I could feel the color drain from my face. I pushed her away and now she's gone.

I read through the letter again, reading the things she crossed out. Secretly smiling to myself. But she might come back. I felt something flicker inside of me.

Hope.

Joey's POV

I threw money at the cab driver and ran into the bustle of the airport. I purchased the last remaining ticket on Dawson's flight. I went through security even though that stupid guard frisked me a little more happily than he should. He'll never forget me. I made sure of that.

I ran through the terminals looking frantically for mine. That's when I saw him. Same old reddish-blonde hair with that stupid leather coat I had got him so many moons ago.

Dawson.

I yelled his name and when he turned around we embrace and kissed. Right then in that moment, in his arms, I didn't care about Pacey, Audrey, or even Jack. I only cared about the two of us.

"Joey, you came. I love you so much," he said when we finally parted. His eyes were like a puppy dogs.

"Yes Dawson, I'm here and I won't chicken out like I did last time. I love you too," I said as we embraced again. Right now I felt like I was where I belonged… with Dawson.

I'd like to say that we lived happily ever after, but then I would be lying.


	5. Chapter 5

_This is the final chapter._

**Chapter Five**

Here's what really happened:

I got to the airport and looked around for several hours, just looking for Dawson.

I never saw him.

I then knew, that I couldn't depend my life on either one of them. I have to go my own way. I thought back, to that time when I sang in that ridiculous talent show that Jen had signed me up for. How Dawson had looked at me when I finished singing _On My Own. _I thought I would never live to see him look at me again that way, but he did.

When I found out that my father had gotten released from prison and didn't tell my sister, Betsy, or me I thought I would die. But I didn't.

Or more importantly, when Jen died. I thought, that I would never be able to cope with myself because of how badly I treated her. But the sun always rises, whether you want it to or not.

And now, when I didn't see Dawson, I know now, that it wasn't meant to be. I will not break down. I can't go back to Pacey, he was of my past. I need to stop living in the past and focus on my future.

_10 years from now_

"Mommy! I'm bored! Will you take me to McDonalds?!" my three year old daughter, Jennifer said to me.

"Jenny dear, not until Mommy finished this chapter of her book," I said sighing. I can't wait until John got home from the hospital. I finished typing my third book with the same line I always ended with. _Tomorrow is another day_. I do hope my editor; Bella will like the last installment to my series, Life on the Creek.

"Mommy, will you tell me about you and Uncle Dawson again?" Jenny asked me with wide eyes.

I sighed I told this story so many time. "It was many years ago, long before you were born, your uncle Dawson and I sat on his bed talking about how I didn't want to keep on sleeping over at his house…"


End file.
